GRATEFUL

So here I am sitting at work, just starting my 12 hour shift and dreading it. I feel so run down and grumpy and uncomfortable, so needless to say it is not a great way to start off your shift!!! It didn't help, that the security guard stopped me to tell me that my face looks swollen and really puffy!! REALLY?? Well thanks so much, do you not also see this huge protruding belly on me too! I think it should be against the law to tell a pregnant women she looks puffy, swollen or the worst... tired!!!! I'm not about lying but I feel like when you talk to a pregnant women you should tell her she looks great (even if she doesn't)!! Just my opinion.

So... as much as I could write about all my negative feelings I really need to try and be positive so here are five things I am grateful for today!!

1. Jeff - He really is the best person I know and no matter what I do or say or look like he still loves me!! He makes me laugh when I feel like crying, he changes Ben's diaper when I just don't want to do it, he lets me be a crazy spaz and vent to him all the time and doesn't ever judge me! He just is such a strength to me and I am so grateful for him!!

2. Benjamin - This little guy is just the funniest little man EVER!! When I am exhausted and wonder what I am going to do with him, he gives me the funniest little grin or runs over to me and throws his arms around me!! Our favorite thing to do right now is to dance... we crank the music and dance away. He is hilarious and I just love seeing him grow and develop into such a funny little guy!

3. This baby growing inside of me - I am not one of these women that LOVE being pregnant. I mean, it is a miracle and all of that, but it is creepy to me and this one has been alot different that my pregnancy with Ben, so not what I had expected. As I sit here though and have thought about it over the last little bit, I am so grateful to be able to carry a baby and be healthy enough for it not to kill me!!! There are alot of people in the world that struggle with getting pregnant and then carrying the baby to full term, and I am really grateful I am not one of them. I know that this baby is meant for us and as much as it scared me to have two kids, I know it was the right thing to do and the blessing that it will be in our lives! Can't wait to meet him or her!!!

4. My Family - I have a wonderful family and extended family who are always there for me. I miss my parents so much that I sometimes can't think about it because then I start crying ( I'll blame it on the hormones) but they are the best parents anyone could ask for and I know that what they are doing right now is important and is where they need to be. I am grateful for my siblings and am very grateful that we still all talk and get together even with the parents gone. I love getting together with them and all their kids! They are also a strength in my life! I am also very grateful for the other side of the family that I have. I have had some good communications this last little while with a few of these people and I am so grateful for them. We all live so far away from each other and don't get to visit as much as we like, but I have been strengthened by them this last week or so and am really grateful for feeling like I am not as alone as I sometimes feel!!

5. The Gospel - I sometimes feel like I am never spiritual enough or not an elegant enough speaker to really express how I feel. But I am grateful for the gospel in my life. My testimony is a very simple and pure testimony that I hold very dear to me! There is so much that I do not know in this life and all the mysteries of the gospel, but I do know that this is the only true church on the earth!! I sometimes wonder when I gained my testimony because I always here people tell their conversion stories, but for me there is not one specific time I can think of. I was raised by wonderful parents and so I think it was a gradual thing for me. There was never one moment where I just knew... I feel like I have always known, and that knowledge just strengthens every day. I know that it is the gospel that makes it possible for my little family to be together forever and what a beautiful thing. It is my Savior who knows me the best and even when I am in grumpy negative moods, He is still there for me and will wrap me in his arms of love and let me know that I am OK. Even when I am comparing myself to all these amazing people I know, the gospel and my Savior let me know that I am OK as long as I am striving to do my best!!! The church is true and I am grateful for my knowledge of that!!

Well, sorry this is a boring post with no pictures of my cute little boy or anything, but maybe this post was more for me then anyone else, so I could see what I do have to be grateful for!!