As I sit down tonight I am completely exhausted!! The kids are FINALLY in bed and I need to clean the house but tonight I am just too tired and honestly I sometimes think, why even bother as it will look the exact same way 10 minutes after the boys all get up in the morning. As some of my family saw on Skype tonight, dinner was served by some greasy bags with a big golden arch on them!! Lets just say that today I feel like a failure as a wife and mom. I am not writing this post to get people to feel sorry for me or tell me what a great job I am doing... I am just writing to get my thoughts out of my head so maybe I can get a little sleep tonight!!
Has anyone ever wondered as a parent how many times they say no in a day?? Today I lost count before 7 this morning.
"NO, Ben you can't have fruit snacks for breakfast"
"NO, JR, you can't stand on the table and throw your mini-wheats onto the floor!"
"NO, Ben, you can't shut the door on your brother and push him down the stairs!"
JR.. I know Ben just pushed you down the stairs but "NO, you can't reach into your diaper and pull out a big wad of your own poo and chuck it at him!"
"NO Ben and JR, I am glad you are FINALLY playing nicely together but do you think you could find something else to do other then dump the bowls of milk (that were left there from breakfast) onto the floor and then skate in it!"
"NO JR, you can't climb up onto the top of the piano and throw all the pictures onto the floor and then stand there laughing at me."
"NO Ben, as much as you love your little brother Spencer, he really doesn't want to be smashed under you from you laying on him."
"No JR, I know you also love Spencer but you are not quite big enough to pick him up out of his swing, that just ends in disaster!"
"NO, boys you cannot pull out anymore toys until we can at least see the floor through the toys already there."
And literally that was probably all in about 5 minutes!!!
Don't get me wrong I love my boys... I really really do and am so blessed but how do you raise them without feeling like a mean old grumpy witch?? I fear that they are all going to grow up and not understand that I had any other words in my vocabulary other then NO!!
Well, I just pray that my boys will know how much I love them and they will only remember the good, fun times with me and not my NO!!!